Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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