i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
