i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
time to smoke my breakfast
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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