K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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