Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Jerry, you need to find god
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize