I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
