I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
