I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
