Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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