He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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