Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I will pee on everything he values.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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