Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
