were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
