i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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