ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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