is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
