Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
