found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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