After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
