She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just gift wrapped bread.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
