Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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