he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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