I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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