You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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