You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
