hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
