Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
