Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
