My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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