i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Reggie can tackle my bush.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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