Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize