Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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