Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
pray to the hookup gods
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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