You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
