apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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