hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
only you would photoshop your dick
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
