Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
