I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize