I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
