Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Your cock deserves a montage
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
