Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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