absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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