I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize