yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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