get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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