I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
