38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
BRING THE BAGELS
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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