idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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