there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize