I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
