okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
