How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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