My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
