In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
