i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
