before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
