11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Dual....:-)
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
