brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize