Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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