Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
