Screwed.edu
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
