Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
