giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
