Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Two words: blizzard sex
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
