mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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