you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
