Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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