why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize