Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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