If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
