I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm really into asian looking animals
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
